Signs You May Need "Stockpile Remediation Therapy"

SIGNS YOU MAY NEED “STOCKPILE REMEDIATION THERAPY”

• Boxes of paper products serve as the door to any given room.
  
  
• You are retrieving pantry ingredients to use in tonight's dinner from under the bed.
  
  
• You've convinced yourself that although you have two bathtubs, and a family of five-the hanging clothes look so much better there in the other bathtub than in the re-purposed clothes closet where they once lived.
  
  
• What dining table?
  
  
• You will take home anything, I mean anything that's free with shelves or cubbies-no matter how ugly. And you will stop on the side of the road to get it. Generally it's only once a week, though.
  
  
• Cabinet doors just get in the way.
  
  
• When you decide everything needs to go up now because it can no longer go across. For real.
  
  
• You begin to sell furniture to make more room for your stockpile. If your large pieces of furniture have already graduated to "free for the taking", stop reading now. It's too late.
  
  
• Your neighbors no longer come to borrow eggs and flour, they want the good stuff.
  
  
• Your family comes over to visit and each person brings an empty tote bag because they know there will be door prizes.
  
  
• Your family knows and can taste the flavor of “free” at the dinner table.
  
  
• Occasionally, you can't find your cat. However, you can now distinguish the “meow” from a cat in true peril, so no worries. No, I don't intend to discuss this further.
  
  
• You save on the cost of a home alarm system, because you know a burglar wouldn't stand a chance of making it past stage one of the obstacle course you've got.
  
  
• You've prepared and memorized an Oscar worthy speech which outlines and defends your stockpiling. I mean, it's just that good.

Oh and lastly, the final sign that you may need "Stockpile Remediation Therapy" is that you know with every fiber of your being you could find a  deal on it, that is...if such a thing really existed.

If you're not laughing, I am supposing you should probably refer back to the furniture clause above...

If you are laughing, that's great! That means you can relate but there's still hope. You're all ready for my upcoming article entitled “How to Hide Your Stockpile and Get Away With It-Maybe”.