Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Are Snack-Eating Ghosts Haunting Your Kitchen?

Let’s face it. We all have these ghosts in our house. 

There are a few we know of for sure; the cereal ghost, the cheese ghost, the cracker ghost, the cookie ghost, and the lagniappe ghost. There are a few others, but they are regional. Each of these ghost species consumes a ridiculous amount of their favorite snack all in one sitting-but no one EVER sees them. 
 
That’s how we know they are ghosts. 
 
The only evidence they leave behind is an empty box or bag in their wake. Though, you have to be a bit clever to find them out. They will hide the crumpled bags and boxes in the wastebasket or cleverly rearrange the pantry shelves to hide the void of what was once there.  The brave ones will simply leave the empty space or...“gasp”, leave only but three measly morsels behind for the humans.  
 
There is but one remedy.  
 
Educate the humans.  Teach them to battle the snack ghosts with clever snacking tactics.  The ghosts will notice their snacking habits and adapt such as not to reveal their own sneaky snacking.   
 
You must show the humans in the household the secret text filled box printed on the boxes and plastics that surround the snacks for safekeeping. These boxes have secret and cryptic numbers and words in them called “serving sizes”.  Especially teach young humans to choose the snack items based upon this serving size number-you can write it on the food container. Have young humans count out loud so the ghosts can hear and learn how many to take for a snack.  The language of “serving size” and the voice of young humans is decidedly the most effective way to communicate with snack ghosts.  Tell your friends.
 
Ghostly Tricks. Keep measuring tools at the ready so young humans can demonstrate how to measure out just the right amount of cereal and loose snacks perfect for ghost tummies. You can take a little piece of tape and mark the spot on the measuring cup-just to make it easier for the ghosts.  Everybody knows ghosts can’t see that well.  After all, they are invisible. Besides, we don’t want the snack ghosts to eat too much or they might make too many moaning and groaning noises at night.  There’s nothing like ghost noise to disturb your beauty sleep.
 
Silly disappearing acts. Lastly, we want to make sure that the ghosts have enough to eat, so we want to conserve.  We shouldn’t snack all day, and ghosts need to learn not to snack all night.  If we take breaks in between snacks, the ghosts will too and then everyone will have enough food to eat.
Indirectly, this “snack ghost” training really helps the adult human’s budget because they won’t need to visit the grocery store as often.  A little ghost busting goes a long way.
 
I don’t know about you, but once I found out about the true nature of these “snack ghosts”, it sure made Halloween a little less frightening for me.

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