Black Friday. It comes every year, and every year we vow not to partake in the organized chaos, but yet we do. It is all about enjoyment and accomplishing the task you set out to do, right? It's so fun to go out with friends and family and shop delightfully and enjoy the sights, sounds and wares of the season. It's truly a wonderful adventure, isn't it?
The sights and sounds of Black Friday shopping are all too familiar. The banshee-esque sounds of people screeching when they find what they are looking for, the animalistic nature of territorial stances, the quickening of footsteps behind you as you close in on your prize, the overcrowding of the herds, the unidentifiable sounds that fill the night air and last into the wee hours of the morning.
Who are we kidding here? It's jungle out there and if you are going to swing on the vines and brave the wild, you'll have to be prepared.
There are a few fundamentals you should know, so here goes:
CHECKLIST
Preparation:
Of note:
Attire:
Remember: Minimal bulk leaves hands free and maximizes basket space:
Don't forget to rest before heading out tonight, and drive safely. |
Black Friday Survival Guide
Hibernate.
You'll need to rest up for this taxing journey. You must be alert and agile to get those deals!
You'll need to rest up for this taxing journey. You must be alert and agile to get those deals!
The lair.
You need to prepare your vehicle, which is like your lair. Full tank of gas, snacks, charged cell phone and cell phone charger and a cleaned, vacuumed and de-cluttered interior. You'll want a blanket for warmth, should you need to wait in the car in the parking lot and it's also a nice item to cloak your purchases-should you want to. Put your ads, coupons, itinerary and map in your car the day before your excursion. It's a good idea to put a first aid kit in the glove box too. You laugh, but just trust me on this one.
Scavenging for food.
Squirrels are no dummies. They plan ahead. Pack some non-perishable snacks in your car, and maybe some in your pocket for the long wait ahead. Fill a thermos with hot chocolate or coffee or water. You need to stay hydrated, because if you weren't aware of it already-this shopping trip counts as your workout for the entire week.
Squirrels are no dummies. They plan ahead. Pack some non-perishable snacks in your car, and maybe some in your pocket for the long wait ahead. Fill a thermos with hot chocolate or coffee or water. You need to stay hydrated, because if you weren't aware of it already-this shopping trip counts as your workout for the entire week.
Attire.
Layering is key. Chances are it will be cold, but inside the store it is going to warm up quick with all those other people, so it's nice to be able to molt if you need to. You'll want to carry around your currency in a small receptacle. The best choice is something that will fit in your front pocket. Your license, card and cash and coupons should fit in it nicely. You may want to load a prepaid credit card with the total amount of your budget and carry that with you instead, it will keep your budget in check and is less cumbersome than multiple forms of payment.
Layering is key. Chances are it will be cold, but inside the store it is going to warm up quick with all those other people, so it's nice to be able to molt if you need to. You'll want to carry around your currency in a small receptacle. The best choice is something that will fit in your front pocket. Your license, card and cash and coupons should fit in it nicely. You may want to load a prepaid credit card with the total amount of your budget and carry that with you instead, it will keep your budget in check and is less cumbersome than multiple forms of payment.
The nest.
Well, eventually-you will head back to the mainland and your home will need to have a spot for all of the items you are bringing back from the jungle. I usually prepare a closet, so that when I get back, all I have to do is place the bags in there and get ready for a nap after my long journey.
Well, eventually-you will head back to the mainland and your home will need to have a spot for all of the items you are bringing back from the jungle. I usually prepare a closet, so that when I get back, all I have to do is place the bags in there and get ready for a nap after my long journey.
Preparation.
You need to have a plan about what you are seeking. Make a list of the items you want at each store and set a budget. Even if you know the store layout very well, there is no way to know where each item will be placed, but at least you'll know your way around.
You need to have a plan about what you are seeking. Make a list of the items you want at each store and set a budget. Even if you know the store layout very well, there is no way to know where each item will be placed, but at least you'll know your way around.
The map.
You'll need a map of the jungle. So what you need to do is to plan out your route according to time of store opening and priority. If you have other adventurers in your party, then there is a chance to divide and conquer.
You'll need a map of the jungle. So what you need to do is to plan out your route according to time of store opening and priority. If you have other adventurers in your party, then there is a chance to divide and conquer.
Stay the course.
Try not to detour from your carefully planned route-make sure you know where to find restroom facilities, and find a restaurant that's open all night.
Try not to detour from your carefully planned route-make sure you know where to find restroom facilities, and find a restaurant that's open all night.
The jungle.
It's a maze. It's full of the unexpected and unpredictable, but if you are prepared, you will make it through. The goal is to get that treasure and get out quickly and unscathed. But you also need to know that it's just fine to wave a white flag if you need to retreat.
It's a maze. It's full of the unexpected and unpredictable, but if you are prepared, you will make it through. The goal is to get that treasure and get out quickly and unscathed. But you also need to know that it's just fine to wave a white flag if you need to retreat.
The hunt.
If you know what you came for, and stick to your list, you will be focused. Go for the item of highest priority first, because you may not get everything you want. There will always be someone faster and there is only a limited supply of any one deal-even if the stores prepare well ahead of time. So enjoy the hunt! When you are focused there is more opportunity for success and less of a chance for disappointment.
If you know what you came for, and stick to your list, you will be focused. Go for the item of highest priority first, because you may not get everything you want. There will always be someone faster and there is only a limited supply of any one deal-even if the stores prepare well ahead of time. So enjoy the hunt! When you are focused there is more opportunity for success and less of a chance for disappointment.
The treasure.
Yes. You came to get the ultimate prize-but there is no need to let the wild animal come out in you in order to secure it-be polite and courteous, even if others aren't.
Yes. You came to get the ultimate prize-but there is no need to let the wild animal come out in you in order to secure it-be polite and courteous, even if others aren't.
The escape.
You've done your work. Now get in your car with all your great finds and head for home. You're walking away from a glorious adventure safe and sound. There's something to be said for that.
You've done your work. Now get in your car with all your great finds and head for home. You're walking away from a glorious adventure safe and sound. There's something to be said for that.
(And it might sound a little like a Tarzan yell...)
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